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3 Ways to Put Yourself First & Take Up Space in 2023

WILL THIS BE THE LAST YEAR WE SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WE’RE WORTH? 

The kickoff meetings. The strategic plans. The ever-closing gaps of free time on my calendar. 

Every January, companies line up their goals and action plans in hopes of a high yield. It’s a new quarter and a new year, which means all eyes are on the future. 

But for employees, especially underrepresented employees, we might be asking ourselves some different questions. Will I be paid and treated fairly this year? Will I get that promotion over my male colleague? Will this finally be the year I stop doing work for free?

It can be difficult to achieve what you want to achieve, especially when there are so many obstacles beyond your control. And these obstacles can do a number on your confidence and even your work performance– at least that’s true for me.

Jasmine Escalera, PhD, and Sweta Regmi know exactly what this feels like– and they know exactly how to help make 2023 the year where your goals become reality. The pair teamed up for a LinkedIn event on January 6, 2023 to deliver insight into how women, especially women of color and other underrepresented women, can put themselves first this new year. 

This event changed my perspective on goal-setting this new year, and left me feeling equipped to keep my eye on the prize. 

So buckle up, because Jasmine Escalera and Sweta Regmi are going to take your career to the next level.

MARGINALIZED EMPLOYEES, IT’S TIME TO TAKE UP SPACE 

Escalera, a LinkedIn top voice of 2022, is a career and confidence coach for women of color. After a decade of managing and leading people in her own career, she built a business around what she loves– supporting and empowering women to achieve their greatness.

Regmi, an author and global speaker, is a career and resume coach for immigrants and layoff survivors in Canada. She founded Teachndo, a career services business, in 2014 to help provide resources to marginalized people looking for work.

Dr. Escalera began the session by telling her story. 

“I didn’t have the guidance as a woman of color to claim and own my career,” she explained. 

“I am a first generation college student and corporate employee. At first, I tried to code switch and act like everyone else to fit in and succeed. But I learned that, in order to achieve what I want to achieve, I have to take up space. I had to learn how to show up for myself, as myself, in every environment.”

Taking up space is an important way for women of color to fight against a culture that teaches them to shrink themselves down, just fit in, and stay quiet. But since marginalized women are not encouraged by our society to put themselves out there, it can be difficult to know where to start.

If that’s you, then here is your strategic plan for 2023, brought to you by Jasmine Escalera, PhD, and Sweta Regmi.

Two women shake hands with confidence.Photo by cottonbro studio at Pexels

3 WAYS TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST & TAKE UP SPACE THIS NEW YEAR

1) GET UNCOMFORTABLE BY GETTING COMFORTABLE BUILDING YOUR PROFESSIONAL COMMUNITY.

Early on in her career, Jasmine Escalera didn't feel comfortable networking. Competitive white male spaces made it hard for her to find her footing. Culturally, she was taught that success only comes when you put your head down and hustle.

This combination of culture and a white male boardroom gave Dr. Escalera a “prove yourself” mentality, rather than an “I deserve to be here and be heard” mentality.

That started to change when she realized the power of an expansive community, and how leveraging connections through networking, even remotely, can get you much farther than you can get yourself.

“This year, you should set a networking intention that helps you achieve a career goal,” says Escalera, “because networking is how you will build the career you want your way.” 

Sweta Regmi adds that networking is very dependent on personality. 

“You can use different approaches. Though it might sound like networking is all about talking, you might be relieved that it’s actually about listening and asking questions. You should be actively listening about 80% of the time, and talking about 20% of the time.” 

Regmi also adds that you can start where you feel comfortable. Focus on your inner network, and who you already feel comfortable with. And don’t forget that listening is always an asset to another person, no matter how senior the person you’re connecting with.

So before you dive into another year of trying to prove yourself BY yourself, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Who is already in my network and could help me succeed? Who can be my ally and stand up for me? Who will I reach out to? How?
  • How will I grow and sustain new communities based on my interests and needs?
  • How will I listen well to my connections? How can I be a good mentee?

A map with connected pins.Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

2) STOP FOR A MINUTE. REFLECT ON WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR CAREER THIS YEAR.

Did you know that 5.4 million firms are owned by women of color as of 2023? Or that this number represents a 163% increase over the last few decades? That’s a huge success. It also shows us a promising trend: that marginalized women are putting themselves first and taking business into their own hands.

This data is not surprising when you consider the circumstances. Unfortunately, we live in a working world that constantly tells women of color that they do not come first. 

Women of color experienced more layoffs than their white colleagues during the COVID-19 pandemic. BIPOC women are also less likely to be represented at a senior level.In addition, many marginalized women in the workplace report feeling excluded, isolated, and passed over as compared to their white colleagues.

Jasmine Escalera knows the stakes. But she also knows what tools marginalized women need to succeed.


“If we are going to put ourselves first this year, then we need to know what we actually want in our careers,” says Escalera. 

She recommends reflecting not just on your career, but on your career in relation to your life. “We put our career in a box. 9-5, and then it’s done. But your career is part of your life. And your career is a vehicle for the life you want to live.” 

Workplaces do a lot of reflecting each year– and there's a good reason. Reflection is an important tool for business growth and success. Fortunately, reflection is also a personal tool. It’s simple, free, and proven to help you on your path to achieve the goals you set for yourself. 

For example, by reflecting, Sweta Regmi decided that this year, she would put herself first by saying no to more people, and with less guilt. A goal like this can be revisited throughout the year. 

If you’re new to personal reflection, Escalera recommends asking yourself the following questions as you think about what you want from your career:

  • What kind of life do I want to live?
  • How can my career support that? How is my career currently supporting my life? How is it not?
  • What boundaries do I need to support the life I want to lead?
  • Do I need to ask for a raise? How can I make financial moves that support my life?
  • Is my current position too out of alignment? Do I need to start networking with the intent of finding a new position? Do I need to think about my entrepreneurial opportunities?

Here are some self-reflection tips and tricks to make the most of this practice:

  1. Record your responses to each question. You can write, draw, make multiple drafts, or even use vision boards to represent your answers.
  2. Hang the recorded answers somewhere near your office space, or keep them on hand in a reflection folder.
  3. Revisit every month, or every three months, or maybe every time you get a paycheck.
  4. Record your progress and any updates. Celebrate the ways you put the life you want to live first, and adjust your actions and goals as you need to.

A woman writes in her journal.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

3) THIS IS THE YEAR YOU START TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. 

You need to know what you want. You need people in your corner. But self-advocacy is what will put it all together. Self-advocacy is the key to putting yourself first.

Dr. Escalera recommends stepping into the workplace and telling people exactly what you need to be the most successful. As scary as this sounds, it’s really important to not be afraid to assert your needs

After you’ve reflected, have a clear vision, and know the value you bring to the table, it gets easier to ask for the things you need. It also gets easier to reject what gets in your way.

“I used to be a yes person,” Escalera explains. “I was dead set on proving myself, but I did this without honoring my boundaries. I never put myself first and it really held me back in my career.”

Sweta Regmi adds that self-advocacy might be mistaken for selfishness. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

“I WANT to be selfish this year,” she says. “Selfishness means I am devoted to myself and my own success first. Sometimes you just need to have your own back.”

Regmi notes that being “selfish” is especially important for marginalized women. Oftentimes, women of color especially are expected to complete free labor at the office. Regmi calls these “office chores,” like party planning or being expected to speak on behalf of all people of color during a DEI training. 

“I will not be doing office chores in 2023, and neither will you,” Regmi exclaims, “and I will be saying no to things that are not directly recognized on my performance review.”

Regmi expresses the importance of being a culture ADD, not a culture FIT, especially for women of color. 

“This is the year you wear your nose ring. This is the year you speak up at the office.”

Self-advocacy can happen in simple ways, and in big ways, too. Escalera assures us that, although self-advocacy can be scary, once you do it you will see a change in your career.

Not sure where to start? Here are a few simple self-advocacy tips to help you stay in your power this year:

  • Recognize that you will not please everyone. Pleasing everyone is not only exhausting, it’s impossible. If everyone is happy with you, but you’re worn down to a pulp, what do you gain? “Not everyone will like me. Great, I’ll still sleep at night,” adds Regmi.
  • Omit “sorry” from your vocabulary. Omit “maybe” from your vocabulary too. These are words that shrink your voice. Practice saying exactly what you mean, and asserting your needs directly. For example, instead of “I think February 1 would be a good deadline if that is okay with you,” say “The deadline is February 1. Let me know if you have any questions.”
  • Step into your selfishness. Say no, often, to things that do not align with your vision, goals, and boundaries– especially free labor that does not go recognized. Escalera reminds us that “there’s only one you to live your life right now.” Protect your space.

A woman on her laptop looks solemnly at the camera.Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

JOB SEEKERS AND LAYOFF SURVIVORS, IT’S YOUR YEAR, TOO 

2022 saw a lot of layoffs. Layoffs can negatively affect confidence, and make it feel like you are at a power disadvantage. 

But Dr. Escalera reminds you to take a breath, and know that you too should put yourself first this year. 

“For job seekers, it’s important to remember that, sometimes, no feedback is feedback. Got ghosted? Someone wasted your time? Ultimately, these are signs that you might not want to work with these people anyway.”

She reminds us that you are selecting a job just as much as they are selecting you. Even if you need a job, you still have a lot of power. You can still assert your boundaries and ask directly for what you need to be successful. 

Ultimately, you are ALWAYS the one making the decision.


“And the most important thing to remember,” Escalera says, “And this applies to everyone: if they wanted to, they could have and they would have.”

So let’s start this year off strong by using our connections, reflecting toward a clear vision, and advocating for ourselves. 

This is the year we are putting ourselves first. And I think it’s going to be a good one. 

How are you taking up space and putting yourself first this year? Let us know at ccwomen@cmpteam.com.