When you hear people tell you to take up space, what do you imagine? Are you standing in front of a boardroom, holding your chin high while presenting to a panel? Are you communicating your career needs to your manager to ensure you get the compensation you deserve?
For women, it can feel murky. Many of us are socialized to do the opposite: become small, blend in, and make as little noise as possible. However, we know we can and must rise above harmful assumptions—and actively try to change the narrative.
Tatyana Ngai, Assistant Vice President, Business Program Office of AT&T, shared her journey at our recent CCW Exchange in Chicago. With valuable leadership insights and lessons in her toolbelt, she emphasized the importance of asserting your presence and making your voice known, while learning how to rely on your community for empowerment.
Here are some of her key takeaways.
As you grow, you need to find the right people to walk alongside you. The road to the top becomes significantly smoother with their guidance and support. Ngai suggested that you have two types of leaders: mentors and sponsors.
“It’s important to have mentors because they will course correct you when you have fatal flaws that need development,” said Ngai. “It’s also equally important to have sponsors, and note that there’s a difference. A mentor is someone who you have one-on-one meetings with. You can ask them questions and they’ll provide candid feedback in an intimate setting. Sponsors are powerful individuals who talk about you when you’re not in the room. You need both.”
Empowerment should always be received and given. No matter where you are, you must remember to return the favor and offer mentorship to others. Not only does it allow you to reflect on how far you’ve come, but your experiences can also help others navigate their careers more clearly.
“Mentoring others in the workplace is a responsibility. If you could give your time to the up-and-coming generation, that would be amazing for corporate America," added Ngai.
“For me, self-empowerment looks like sitting on a yoga mat and focusing on what I’m trying to accomplish for the day. It’s so easy to get swept up in a sea of chaos. By nature, I’m a planner. To come into work and see ideas get blown up during negotiations is like a dagger in the heart,” said Ngai.
The ups and downs of your job create unique ways for you to leverage your strengths and identify areas for improvement. When you approach these with patience, you can freely explore what self-empowerment means to you.
While goal-setting is necessary for success, some factors are still beyond your control. Your original plans may fall through, and certain outcomes won’t reach your initial expectations. What then? Ngai noted, “It took me a long time to desensitize and depersonalize the experience because, at the end of the day, I’d feel like such a failure. Now, I tell myself it’s an opportunity to do something different.”
Whether body language or tone, women must demonstrate self-assurance even if the other party isn’t always responsive. It’s easy for doubt to trickle in when you believe you don’t deserve to be in a meeting or have a say over a key decision, and for most, it doesn’t come naturally. But when you endure the discomfort and continue to exercise your confidence, advocating for your needs will feel more tangible.
“Men have a natural tendency to take up space. Women conform to the space they’re given,” said Ngai. “It’s okay to take up space. I had to learn how to not sit like this, hunched forward, but extend myself and be comfortable. That presence, while internally feels very obnoxious, gives you power in the room.”
“At the end of the day, the title is not enough. What’s meaningful is who you are, what your brand is, and the kind of presence you bring,” concluded Ngai.
As a membership platform for women and allies, CCWomen strives to become a stage where women leaders can take the mic and speak their truth. The business world continues to evolve rapidly, but as a collective, we have the resources to help you rise above the noise and emerge victorious.
Looking for a community to empower you? Become a CCWomen+ member today!