At CCWomen, we strive to revolutionize the customer contact industry through community empowerment—and storytelling plays a vital role in our efforts. Our experiences shape us: our goals, passions, and values. Man, woman, or anyone in between, we deserve to stand on a stage where we can share our journeys and inspire others to take action. (Interested in collaborating? Partner with us to make the magic happen.)
Speaker, author, and viral TEDx guest Ash Beckham uses her voice and platform to discuss her insights on sparking cultural change in business and society at large. In our interview, she discusses her label as an “accidental advocate” and how everyone, regardless of identity or background, can practice impactful allyship while staying true to themselves.
Here are some of her insights.
1. How have your personal experiences fueled your passion for advocacy?
I never really considered myself an advocate. I just lived my life, sometimes surviving, sometimes thriving. It was a double-edged sword: I never thought of myself as an advocate, but I also knew there were things that were a struggle for me.
I was more impactful than I thought I was, but not as impactful as I could have been if I had embraced my personal story. Once I started sharing my experiences and saw myself as someone who could have these hard conversations, I was thrust into my advocacy work and was able to tailor it to fit me.
The yelling, the us vs. them, and the polarization weren’t going to work for me. I never wanted to jump up on a soapbox or protest. I didn’t know any other way to be an advocate, but I fell into it loosely. [My journey] felt most authentic to me and connected with people.
2. How do you define advocacy?
For [advocacy] to be most effective, it has to be authentic to you. Just because your work looks different from mine, it doesn’t take away from either of our efforts. It’s a willingness to have challenging conversations and question the status quo, and it’s also about helping people understand the “why” behind your belief system.
I don’t know if advocacy is about changing someone’s mind so much as it is about having the conviction that you’re being true and genuine to yourself. It’s less about changing someone and more about giving them a perspective. It’s not necessarily about proving them wrong but about showing them that sometimes, there’s a different way.
3. Why is advocacy critical for career women?
There’s so much intersectionality involved; none of us are defined by a singular thing. I’m a woman who’s gay and is a mom. I’m able-bodied and cis-gendered. I’m not in one bucket. Just because I’m in the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t automatically make me an advocate or ally—those titles are proven in action.
Just because a certain policy or practice doesn’t affect me directly doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect the greater culture of an organization.Let’s say I’m a straight, white, cis-gendered man, and I’m in a client meeting. The client assumes my female colleague is the note-taker. Although it doesn’t affect me directly, it sure affects our culture.
You really cannot underestimate the power of allyship. If the woman in this scenario is a self-advocate and speaks out, she might be perceived as selfish. But if I, as an ally, am able to have that conversation and tell the client, “I don’t know your intent, but this is how your statement might make people feel.” It’s a completely different approach with a likely different result.
Know that even if you are someone who’s unaffected, you can still have skin in the game. You have the power to make a change.
4. How can someone hone their advocacy skills and build their confidence?
Join resource groups. Networking groups like [CCWomen] are amazing; they can be your test ground. You can connect with someone and explain, “This is what I want to do. I want to say this to my colleague, but I need practice. Can you be my sounding board?” ”
Within your organization, there are often mentors you can consult. A mentor-mentee relationship is a two-way street—for instance, a mentor may forget where they came from, but they can meet others who’ve struggled with similar challenges that they’ve already faced.
You also need to commit to self-education. It’s not the responsibility of LGBTQ+ people to inform allies of their current struggles. As allies, you want to go in with a bit of knowledge. You sit and listen. It’s important to know that how you advocate for yourself isn’t necessarily how others want to be advocated for. Ask them.
If we’re in a meeting and someone says a microaggression, I can find you afterward and ask, “If we’re in that situation again, how do you want me to handle it?” Some don’t want the moment called out, while others prefer side conversations.You have to know who you’re standing up for and what they actually need from you. Allyship doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
With education and dialogue, all of us can get there. Allyship isn’t about the ally—but who we ally for.
CREDIT: Ash Beckham is a mom of two, speaker, equality advocate and author of Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader.
ASH BECKHAM - Renowned for her impactful TEDx Talk Coming Out of Your Closet, the passionate advocate for equality has achieved notoriety as the “accidental advocate” through her in-demand corporate speeches and workshops. Focused on fostering equality and inclusion, her influential book Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader serves as a powerful call-to-action for individuals from all backgrounds to embrace a new paradigm of leadership at any level and furthers measurable and purposeful change both in the workplace and communities at large.
